Finding The Balance
by digthewriter
Summary: One Shot: Draco might be getting tired of Harry's push and pull, but he can't seem to make it stop, either.


**Finding The Balance**

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**Disclaimer:** All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended.

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Draco's flat was on the fourth floor of an old building that had barely-stable stairs and no lifts. He'd make the walk up to his flat three times a day and refused to Apparate, unless he was accompanied by Harry. He didn't mind the exercise, and it often forced him to think about his day. By the time he'd reach the door to his flat, all of his worries would be gone, and then he could easily crash on his bed or work on making something to eat.

The first time Harry had accompanied him on the stairs, he'd complained the _entire_ time. He didn't understand why Draco trekked up the stairs, instead of just Apparating or _flying_. Of course, Harry hadn't realised that floating on air was something only _he_ could do. Others had to do it the old-fashioned way. No one flew to their flat on a broom, so they'd use their legs or rely on their wand.

_Wands_. Draco remembered that Harry's wand was somewhere in his flat. He'd have to remember to owl it back to him.

Would he ever see Harry again? Did he want to? Their last fight had been the worst, and Harry had all but thrown him out of his house. Draco had walked up the steps that day also, but by the time he'd arrived at his flat, his worry hadn't disappeared. He still worried about Harry. Still loved him.

Draco searched for Harry's wand and when he found it, he clenched it tightly against his chest. It was the only thing of Harry's in his place. He should send it back, but Harry probably wouldn't even want it. He never _used_ his wand. The git walked around town with a wooden stick in his back pocket.

Pacing around the flat, still holding the wand tightly, Draco almost shrieked when there was a knock on the door. _Who could it be_? No one came to visit him. Most of the time his friends only owled him telling him to go visit them because they hated that he didn't have a Floo Network set up in his place, and _no one_ wanted to walk the dangerous stairs up to the fourth floor.

Moreover, it couldn't be his friends because they didn't know that he and Harry had broken up. Draco still kept that information secret because he secretly did wish that Harry would come to his senses and ask Draco to come back. Draco wanted to go back. _Desperately_.

Draco stood at his door, staring at it. He wondered if there really had been a knock or if it was just his imagination. Maybe holding onto Harry's wand so tightly had some sort of a weird effect on his hearing.

He waited.

There was the knock again. Then... "_Draco_?"

Harry.

"_I know you're there. I can hear you breathing_."

Draco frowned. He hated that trick. He hated that Harry could just _feel_ him.

"_And I suspect that you're scowling, as well_."

Draco opened the door swiftly, struggling to school his expression. He held Harry's wand still, and he inadvertently shoved it towards Harry. As if Harry had come to collect it. As if that was all that Harry wanted.

Harry stared at Draco's wand-ful hand and furrowed his brows in confusion. "What..." he muttered and then looked up at Draco to meet his eyes. "I didn't come..."

"I know," Draco said softly. "I just happened to have it on me."

Harry nodded. "I've missed you, too," he said.

Draco frowned again. _Fuck you for acting like you know me so well_. "Did you walk up the stairs?" Draco asked examining the sweat on Harry's forehead and his slightly heavy breathing. The steps are no picnic, not even for the all-powerful Saviour.

Harry nodded again.

"Why didn't you just Apparate?"

"I didn't want to show up inside your flat—unannounced."

"Why didn't you _glide_ up the steps, then? Or Apparate to the door and knock?" Draco raised an eyebrow. They were still standing by the door; Harry on the welcome mat outside Draco's flat and Draco inside. It was awkward, but he wanted Harry to tell him why he was there before he moved out of the way and allowed him in.

"I thought about what I'd say to you. You'd said you get your best thinking done on the walk to your flat, so that's what I was doing. Thinking of what I would say. How I'd apologise—"

"For what?" Draco snapped.

"For being a complete fool. For releasing my anger on you. For not listening to you. For letting you walk away."

"I _didn't_ walk away," Draco said. "You _kicked _me _out_."

"I know. Didn't I say that fool part? Yeah. I just—"

"Just what?" Draco was having a very hard time keeping his voice even. Even more than that, he was having a very hard time keeping himself from wrapping his arms around Harry and pulling him in. All he wanted was to take this man back into his bedroom and stay there with him. Hold him. Love him. Never let him leave.

"I just want you back, Draco." Harry sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "I just—no one knows me like you do and I can't—"

"You can," Draco said before Harry repeated the same thing he'd told Draco almost every night since they'd got together. _I can't let anyone else in_. He could. He should. He was just scared.

"I know. And I will," Harry said, looking into Draco's eyes again. This time, he looked like he did mean it. Draco was almost willing to believe him.

"You will? You will actually tell your friends. You will come out—so to speak—to them."

Harry nodded frantically. "I will. I will. I promise. I just can't lose you." He removed his glasses and rubbed his hands over his face. He put his glasses in the pockets of his robes and then looked up at Draco again. Harry didn't need glasses anymore, Draco knew that; they were more of a comfort to him.

"If the choice is between keeping my secret, and keeping you, Draco, I'll tell the whole world!"

Draco smiled. "No you won't. I bet you'll take another month to tell Granger."

Harry smirked. "Don't act like you can read my mind."

Draco laughed. "I couldn't even if I tried." He moved out of the way to let Harry into his flat. As soon as he'd closed the door, Harry had pushed him against it, kissing and biting any of Draco's skin he could find.

"Can I stay with you tonight?" Harry asked in between his kisses and hands fumbling to find the belt on Draco's jeans.

Draco tilted his head so Harry could have more skin to bite. "Yes," he whispered. "You can stay."

"Are you sure? I don't want to be an inconvenience," Harry said, loosening Draco's shirt and his warm hands caressing Draco's sides.

Draco groaned. He'd missed this. He'd missed it every night they'd been apart. "Harry, _everything_ about you is an inconvenience." He breathed into Harry's mouth, his lips brushed against Harry's before he pushed his tongue in and thrust up into Harry's hand.

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0-*0-*0-*0

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_The first time Harry had realised that he didn't need a wand was after his very first one-off. Ginny was completely out of the picture and had started dating Neville, so Harry felt it safe to go out and find himself someone new. For the night anyway. It'd been a drunken frenzy and he barely remembered anything from that night. When he woke up the next day, the bloke was gone, and his flat looked like it'd been ransacked. The man had gone through all of Harry's drawers and taken—stolen—anything of value. Including his wand. _

_What a Muggle would do with a wizard's wand? Harry had no idea. But the bloke had stolen it, and Harry didn't even know the man's name. _

_Harry fumbled out of bed and made his way to the shower. The berk had taken the soap-dish; at least he'd left the soap. He took his time, letting the warm water soothe away his aches as he remembered how good that man's mouth had been on his cock. How easily he'd slid down to his knees and freed Harry's erection from his trousers. All in the back alley of that pub before Harry'd even offered to take the man home. He was good. Too good, and Harry had been so fucking horny. _

_Harry grew hard again as he remembered how incredible it'd been to fuck that...thief...into the mattress. How he'd fallen asleep immediately, only to be awoken in the middle of the night before having another go at him. Then, the man had slithered off the bed, and only now did Harry realise, that he'd never returned. _

_He finished his shower and returned to his bedroom. The place was a mess. How had Harry not heard the plonker at all? Was he some Muggle master-thief? Had he slipped something in Harry's drink? Maybe Harry had just been really tired after having a spectacular shag. Maybe that's what happened to a person after fucking a man for the first time. _

_He released an exasperated sigh and flicked his wrist—it was an unconscious move—Harry hadn't even realised that he'd done that. He wanted the drawers in the cupboard shut so he'd flicked his wrist and the drawers moved into position. _

_"What?" Harry mumbled. He tried it again and the drawers opened. He did it again and again as if he was trying to be sure that it was really happening. Was it really happening? Then, Harry turned his attention to the messy bed. With determination and a quick hand gesture, the sheets straightened up, and the blanket on top settled itself very evenly. Then Harry focused on the closet. First, he had all the clothes flying out, just for kicks, then he had them all sorted out. _

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0-*0-*0-*0

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"What will I say?" Harry asked as he nuzzled into the crook of Draco's neck. Draco was struggling to get the covers on them, while Harry kissed the sensitive spot that he knew Draco always found ticklish and then pulled Draco close to him.

"I need the—" Draco sighed and released the blanket. There was no point trying to get it if Harry was going to be his insistent self. A moment later, Harry pulled on the blanket instead, and then they were soon covered. He smiled at the warmth under the covers and the warmth of Harry's naked body next to his.

"You'll just tell them the truth," Draco said. "One by one or two by two—whatever you want—you'll show them your little tricks and they'll want to talk about it. I'm sure they'll have a million questions."

"How do you know?" Harry looked up at Draco, squinting, as if he was trying to read Draco.

"They always want to talk," Draco answered matter-of-factly, "and anyone would have questions."

"You didn't ask me any questions," Harry said.

"Yes, well. I'm more of a 'see things and figure it out on my own' kind of a man," Draco answered. He turned to his left to switch off the light in his room when Harry held him from behind. Draco leaned into the touch and allowed Harry to just hold him. He needed that, Draco was sure, and if anything, if the light really bothered Harry, he could just _think_ it and it would turn off.

"I was never scared to show them to you," Harry mumbled into his skin.

"I know."

"Why doesn't it bother you?"

"Why would it?"

"I dunno..." Harry pulled on Draco shoulder so Draco would turn, and they were face to face again. He brushed his lips against Draco's. "People would be scared to be with someone so...emotional. When things go flying around the room and it can get out of control."

"You don't lose your control when you're around me," Draco said and he ran his fingers through Harry's hair. "Besides, if anything, all you've done with your powers around me...is use them to save my life. I've lost count at how much you've done that so—" Draco shrugged seeming nonchalant. "Doesn't bother me."

Harry smiled and leaned in to kiss Draco again.

"Just like, it's not going to bother your friends."

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0-*0-*0-*0

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_Harry walked into the dark alley behind Clery's, it was the latest Muggle gay pub he'd started to visit. This time, he had refused the offer of some bloke in a tight silk shirt and leather trousers and ventured into the alley alone. He really was going to get some fresh air, and then he was going to Apparate home. _

_He should have known better that the back alley of some dingy pub was not the place for some 'fresh air', when he heard screams coming from the far corner. The Auror in him—the career path he didn't pursue—beckoned him to check it out. _

_What Harry saw was that two men were holding someone by his arms against the wall while a third man was punching the restrained man in the stomach. He immediately rushed towards them and grabbed the wooden stick that was attached to his hip. He really needed to look into getting a real wand, or at least that something that looked like a wand. He was still carrying around a stick he'd found in the park; he was just used to having something on him. _

_The man doing the punching looked at Harry when he heard Harry's shouts and sneered. Harry motioned with his left hand and the man went flying back. Even though it is against wizarding law to use magic in front of a Muggle, Harry wasn't able to help himself. Besides, the sort of magic he used wasn't normal to begin with. Then, the other two men, fear in their eyes, glared at Harry, then they looked down at the stick he was holding with confusion. Harry pretended to charge towards them, but they'd already started to run away. It was obvious that the man doing the punching was the one calling the shots and the other two men knew better. Harry looked over to the first man he'd struck and he was unconscious on the floor. _

_Harry approached the victim and was nearly stunned silent; the man looked up at Harry and had the same reaction. It was Draco Malfoy. _

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0-*0-*0-*0

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"Are you sure that Mr Potter won't be joining us tonight, dear?" Draco's mother hadn't stopped scowling since he'd arrived at the manor for dinner. He'd only brought Harry over a handful of times and now, without any reservation, his mother liked to tell him how disappointed she was that Harry didn't come with him _every time_.

Unlike Draco, Harry had other friends that he visited. She, of course, would never accept that.

"I know, Mother, but he'd already made other plans with his...friends." Draco wanted to say "his other family," but refrained.

"Any why didn't you go with him?"

"Because I'd already told you that I'd be here."

"I'm sure we could have rescheduled."

Draco almost snorted at that. "That's alright, Mother. I'll bring him next time. Besides, I think he needed to talk to them on his own today."

At that, she raised her perfectly trimmed eyebrow. "Any interesting news?" she said and glanced at Draco's ring finger.

Draco shook his head. "Just that he's finally decided to join the Auror program," he said. "He wishes to tell them before it becomes a thing to read in the _Prophet_."

"Oh, how disappointing," she said and Draco inadvertently scowled. "I mean...it's hardly news, is it? Mr Potter was meant to be with the Aurors, and I'm surprised it's taken him this long to finally come to terms with it. I thought, perhaps, I don't know..."

"We haven't even been dating for a year, Mother. We aren't going to get engaged or start living together."

"Well you two have been inseparable since that horrific incident!" she said. Draco had made the mistake of telling his mother that Harry had saved his life from some Muggle robbers outside a pub, and since then she'd simply referred to it as "the horrific incident." She had no idea that Draco had in fact met one of the men inside the pub; that man had lured Draco out in the alley with an offer for a blowjob, and then he and his mates decided to rob Draco instead.

Since then, Harry had always shown up at whatever club Draco went to. At first, he was acting like some self-imposed bodyguard, until Draco had pushed Harry against the wall and snogged him senseless. They hadn't exactly been _inseparable_ since that night, but with the way the _Prophet_ had reported it, his mother had chosen to believe it so.

There were plenty of nights when Harry had pushed Draco away, and they'd almost broken up time and time again. Harry would lose control of his power and then he'd shut himself away from everyone, thinking that he was doing it to protect them. Draco had been through the song and dance _so many times_, that he felt like he could spot it happening from miles away.

"There must be something else besides the news about joining the Aurors," Draco's mother said, grabbing his attention again. "There is something you're not telling me."

"What makes you say that?" Draco asked.

"Well, I'm a mother and I know these things. It's something big, isn't it?"

Suddenly her face grew sombre and she focused her glare on Draco.

"Whatever it might be..." Draco drawled, "...I'm sure if it's worth knowing, it'll be in the _Prophet_."

"You know, I really don't appreciate you mocking me like this, Draco!" His mother nearly snarled at him. "I read that paper so carefully because sometimes the reporters know more about my son's personal life that I do!"

"Alright, Mother," Draco said, trying to keep calm. "I'm sure if there's anything to know, I'll make sure that Harry stops by first thing and tells it to you in person." He smiled reassuringly at her and she seemed to relax a bit.

They sipped their tea in silence for a few moments until Draco could feel the tension rise up again. He was sure she was going to find something new to argue with him about. But before his mother had a chance to get a word in, the house-elf, Lanie, appeared.

"Mr Harry Potter is waiting by the Floo," Lanie said.

"Oh? Is he going to come through?" Draco asked.

"No. Mr Harry Potter has requested Master Draco to go through to the Floo to see him," Lanie answered.

"Well, why is that?" Draco's mother snapped before Draco had a chance to even stand up.

"I'm sure it's nothing to worry about," Draco said. "But, if it's alright with you, Mother..."

"Oh, just go!" she said, rolling her eyes. "You wish to act like I was never young or knew what it's like to be so desperate in love!"

Draco smiled at her permission to leave, but internally groaned at the idea of his mother and father being "young and desperate in love." That was an image he did not want in his head. "I'll owl you soon, Mother, and I'll bring Harry for tea next time. I promise!"

Draco left the room and made his way to the Floo Network where Harry was waiting for him at the other side.

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0-*0-*0-*0

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_Breaking the news to Hermione had been the easiest and the toughest. Harry was prepared for her reacting to it logically, bringing out her parchment, and jotting down notes of when and how it all started; eventually concluding to what it all meant. _

_She looked a little surprised at the fact that he'd been holding onto this secret for so many years and that Draco knew more about it than she did. She was hurt, but Ron was there to comfort her and call Draco all sorts of names, thinking that it would make Hermione feel better. Ultimately, Harry's glowering and Hermione's shushing made Ron go quiet. _

_Ron had been the most excited. He suggested that Harry could go "on the road" with his newly announced powers and make money doing various sorts of "shows" for people. It would have been a way to help Harry channel his magic and learn to control it better. When Harry told him that he didn't really have a need for money, Ron was out of ideas. Harry brought up the notion of joining the Aurors and Ron thought it was a good enough thing to do, until Harry asked him to join with him. _

_Ron had been helping George at the shop for a while and their finances were all in order. George didn't need him anymore, and Ron was getting bored with being a businessman—joining the Auror program with Harry made his eyes sparkle._

_George asked if he could be the first one to sell the "Harry Potter Wandless Wizard" action figures, and Ginny requested that Harry be able to hex her ex-boyfriends that were on the opposing Quidditch teams. Neville shook his head at Ginny's request, and Luna asked if she could get the exclusive for 'The Quibbler'. _

_Mrs Weasley shushed them all and offered Harry dessert. _

_He knew that things wouldn't be this easy. He was glad that everyone around him was making light of things, but complications were going to come up. He was going to have to ask Ron to cover for him if something happened while they were in the field. That Hermione would probably need to do more research on how to channel his power correctly, and that Draco would have to be there for all of it. _

_Draco. _

_He wouldn't just be the boyfriend mentioned in the background anymore, he would be more prominent. He would be there with Harry, and Harry would have to work hard to make sure that he didn't push Draco away again. _

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0-*0-*0-*0

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"So, I was right?" Draco asked with a smirk, even though he was pinned in-between Harry and the door to his flat.

"That would make you really happy, wouldn't it?" Harry asked as he nibbled on Draco's ear and Draco struggled to let them in through the door.

"Actually, your mouth on my cock would be something that would make me really happy. _This_ would just allow me to know that I have a superpower that you don't." Draco bit his lower lip as he saw Harry stare at him with shiny lustful eyes masked by his fake glasses.

"You think you're just so funny," Harry said and he grabbed Draco by his waist to turn him around. Draco's face pressed against the door as Harry unbuckled Draco's belt, allowing his trousers to fall on the floor and then unbuttoned his own jeans.

"Against the door?" Draco whispered. Usually they'd fucked against the wall or a door after they'd had a fight, but this wasn't make-up sex.

"Is that okay?" Harry had asked the question, but he hadn't stopped stroking Draco's cock with his left hand as he summoned the lube with his right. Draco was surprised the man couldn't just conjure lube out of thin air. He'd have to remember to tease him about that next time; that'd make Harry really give it to him good.

"_Yes..._" Draco whispered and pushed back into Harry's fingers that were starting to find their way inside him. He moaned against the wood that was pressed against his face and felt the unfinished roughness of it under his fingertips. This was going to be _good_; he only hoped that he'd last long enough. Ever since Harry had agreed to let Draco in, his magic had flown through them during sex. Whatever Draco did when he was alone and missing Harry didn't compare to what it was like when Harry would touch him or when he'd come inside Harry. So he'd save himself until he'd see Harry again and then it would be pure ecstasy.

"I can't...I can't wait any longer," Harry appealed his need to Draco as he removed his fingers and lined his cock up against Draco's entrance.

"Just do it," Draco moaned in return. "Just fuck me, Harry."

"Merlin, yes, Draco," Harry growled through his teeth and picked up the pace. He was fast and brutal, just like Draco loved. Draco smiled when he felt Harry let go of everything and just give in to the moment. He felt the magic—Harry's magic—flow through him and then he lost the ground under him. _Literally_.

This had happened once or twice before and they'd never discussed it. Harry was able to levitate, that was common knowledge to Draco, but it would sometimes happen to them when they'd have sex. Once they'd been against the wall like they were now, and the other time, they were on Draco's bed.

When the sex was _really_ good, and when Harry truly had let go of all his inhibitions, they flew together. Draco had never questioned it, and he'd never been scared by it. He didn't need to be. He trusted Harry. Loved him, even.

"We're... We're..." Harry panted as he didn't stop pumping in and out of Draco, and Draco could hear the sparkle of fear in Harry's voice.

"I know. I know, it's okay. You've got me. I trust you," Draco reassured him as he braced against the wooden door and floated in air, mere centimetres above the floor.

"So fucking good, _Draco_."

Draco threw his head back and their mouths connected as Harry started to pump Draco's erection firmly. They came almost at the same time; the heat of Harry's seed inside him had Draco spiral over the edge, and he panted Harry's name over and over until he was rendered breathless.

They landed on the floor, Draco resting his head against the door, breathing heavily, and Harry's limp cock still resting inside him. Harry kissed and licked the back of Draco's neck until Draco's breathing had steadied.

"I love you," Harry mumbled as his lips were pressed against the back of Draco's neck.

Draco smiled, his eyes closed, and he grabbed Harry's arm that was snaked around his waist. "Yeah?" he asked, trying to sound nonchalant. He knew that Harry cared for him deeply, just as much as Draco cared for Harry but they'd never uttered the words to each other.

"Yeah," Harry said and turned Draco around to face him. "Is that okay?" He looked nervous, and he let go of Draco to run his hand through his hair. He was nervous; Draco could feel it.

"If it's too much, too fast, you'll tell me—"

Harry had a wild way of releasing his nervous energy. Draco felt the ground vibrate and if he didn't put a stop to it, he worried that Harry might take the building down with them.

"Hey," Draco whispered grabbing Harry's wrist and pulled him in for a kiss. He gripped Harry's hand tightly and wrapped Harry's arms around his waist again. "Relax," he said, brushing his lips against Harry's. "I've got you. And I love you." He smiled as he pulled back and looked into Harry's eyes.

Harry gave him a nervous smile again and then his cheeks reddened. "Sorry, I freaked out—"

He was embarrassed, and oddly, Draco found that endearing.

"Yeah. You really need to work on that if you're going to join the Auror program," Draco said. "I'm not sure how much Weasley can cover your arse." He smirked and brushed his thumb over Harry's lower lip.

Harry nodded. "It helps, you know."

Draco frowned in confusion. "What helps?"

"When I think about you. Think about _us_. It...the episodes, stop."

Draco gave Harry a soft smile and then he leaned his forehead against Harry's. "Then you do that. Think about us...and come to me. Come home to me whenever you need to."

"I will," Harry promised.

* * *

**END**

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**Thanks for reading!**


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